Hope Falls

“You spent so long alone after Daniel… Emmett would never want that for you again. He would want you to be with someone who made you happy, even if he didn’t particularly like them himself. You’re not betraying anyone.” Dagmar shook her head. “Emmett was a stoic arsehole but he loved you and the children a lot. I think you’d be betraying him more if you sat alone for the rest of your life and used him as the excuse. As for Thea… she’s insecure and always has been. If you can replace Emmett so easily then perhaps you will do the same with her - that will be how she thinks. I know she’s your sister and you love her, but she has always been fragile in her trust because she’ll never outrun her human life and what they did to her then. I bet it wouldn’t take much for me to convince her without a doubt that I’d had an affair with Magnus at some point.” She snorted, taking a swig. “Whereas if I tried to convince you of the same thing about Emmett there wouldn’t be a single part of you that believed it or felt anything other than annoyance I’d even said it.” She added, skirting past talking of her own problems.

---

“If that’s what Karina wants. I raised Kenna. She turned out brilliantly.”

Karina placed her own bottle down, wrapping an arm around Dagmar from behind so she could pull her in. Leaning her head against her shoulder and staring straight ahead at the wall, "Only stoic to the rest of you, when he was being watched. He was expressive with me, with the kids."  Swallowing, she whispered, "Aesira is going to be fine, Dagmar. She'll be perfectly fine. Kael is a wonderful young man, this red-blooded young male fae that his age group are described as, I didn't get any of that from him. He'll look after her."

---

"Raising the children of the man you found unbearable is quite the ironic conclusion to the saga, isn't it?" Conan chuckled. "How does Karina feel about Kenna, have you had that conversation? She was... very passionate on her behalf earlier."

“And when Aesira doesn’t get what we have had? When her first time with someone is a case of gritting her teeth and baring it because it is her duty” Dagmar shook her head, taking a big gulp. “It makes me feel sick… She will never forgive me. I will never forgive myself. In a few years when she is gone, I’ll have lost Conan already, all I’ll have left of my family is Cass. And he’ll fly the nest soon… and then it will just be me…” she wiped her face angrily with the back of her hand. “Ignore anyone who says that you and Lucian should not be together. Emmett would want you happy. And the more people around to love his children? Not a bad thing. He knows you wouldn’t allow him to be replaced… he would want you to be happy. So be happy… be happy.”

---

“She knows that Kenna won’t be calling her mother… but she understands her.”

"It will never just be you, even if... even if, god forbid, Conan loses his mind and finishes things with you. Even if, the unlikely event happens, and Aesira doesn't recognise that it isn't your fault. Even when Cassius goes off on his own adventures. You will not be alone. You'll have me, you'll always have me." She rested her chin on top of Dagmar's head, letting out a slow breath through her nose. "What you and Conan are going through is... horrific. He looks haunted, you look devastated. You've fought for each other, for years, so hard... don't give up on your relationship now. It'll be worth it. You can own the 'mistress' title in the best way... the one he loves, the one he chooses to be with. That's so special, Dagmar."

---

"Good, good." Conan grinned, reaching across to grab his cousins arm and squeeze it. "I am happy for you, Luca. Don't let the malicious gossip effect you."

“This is all of my own making is it not? I knew he would never make me his wife, knew that eventually as King he may have to marry someone else. And being with me is hard… and eventually he’ll see how it compares to being with his wife. It’ll be easy with her, nothing stressful. No heavy looks, nothing about shirking his duty… All of this is a consequence of my own actions. Because I had no self control that night.”

---

“I won’t. Whether she does is another thing entirely. But luckily I have enough power around here that I can make it clear that one single word against her and they will have to explain themselves to me.”

"Emmett's friends are.. rowdy, but harmless over all. All bark and no bite. Dagmar will be supportive of you both, you know I am. The only other people whose opinions on it may hurt her will be his friends."

---

"He would have married you, he would have happily shouldered all of the judgement that it comes with had the Guardian's not prevented it." Karina assured gently. "When you were dying, he had a celebrant on stand by - it was all organised, he was going to marry you anyway if it was.. entirely hopeless. Do not think that man doesn't love you, never think that. It's absurd."

“I have a good feeling that Karina and I will be just fine.”

---

“He loves me now… until he realises just how hard I’ve made it to love me. When he realises just how easy it can be to love someone else…”

"I think you're being -" Karina cut herself off before the words of dismissal escaped, shaking her head as she squeezed her friend gently. "I think you're scared, and that is... expected, normal but I don't think your fears will come to fruition. What you and Conan have is special, its a soul connection."

---

"Using words like soulmates, I expect it." Conan chuckled. "Coming back home has worked out well for you."

“You think I’m being dramatic, stupid, ridiculous.” Dagmar finished for her with a soft sigh.

---

“You say that because I stayed.” Lucian chuckled.

"Only because I see how much you love each other, only because the idea of that ever changing from the outside just sounds, feels... ridiculous. I know your worried, I understand but, really... it feels so unlikely."

---

"Will you continue to stay? Or are you planning on sweeping my Seer away for a few months in the near future?"

“She has her children here. And I made a promise to you, don’t worry.”

---

“I hope you never have to properly understand what it feels like…”

"A promise to me doesn't mean you aren't allowed a year, half a year even, to spend with your family - your daughter. Of whom you raised on that boat, so if you were to bring Karina, you could handle the children too."

---

"Lucian would do it, if he had to, so it is a possibility." Karina chuckled nervously.

“You’d be full of worry the entire time that I wasn’t coming back.”

---

“I think Conan marrying will fix the majority of the issues the Lords have with him right now… I doubt Lucian will ever need to.”

"I would be worried you are getting hurt." He corrected with a snort. "If you tell me you will be coming back though, then I'd believe you. I do trust you."

---

"There is more than just our continent, a bigger world. You never know."

“Lucian can’t be farmed out to marry if he’s already married. I think he’d rather wait for the right girl… when the right girl is ready for him.”

---

“Maybe one day I’ll consider it. But definitely not when my cousin is about to get married with a poisonous child in his children’s playroom and giant Madras stalking the continent.”

"Would you like to meet the child you are condemning with such damnation? The one you want me to throw out onto the street and let starve to death?"

---

"I don't know if I am going to ever be ready to marry again, to - to give up this last name. To bare one different from my children."

“You saw what she did, Conan. The Fae that took down Prince Kael. Just a touch.”

---

“Who says you have to change your name again?” Dagmar shook her head. “If you ever married Lucian under the condition you keep your name I don’t think he’d have any problem with that… but then again I’m not sure I trust my own thoughts anymore so…” Dagmar placed the bottle she had to her lips.

Conan shook his head, pushing himself to his feet and heading towards the door. His outer hand motioning for Lucian to follow him, repeating, "Come and meet the boy."

“I don’t want to go anywhere near it or it’s touch.”

"The boy is a member of our household for now, so you will have to. You have braved the horror of the Wast for years - dictators, public executions just from people being intimate with another species. A boy of about twelve is not as horrifying." Conan shook his head. "I will make it clear to him he is not to touch you, if you are so scared."

---

Karina leant to the side to pick her own bottle up once more, undoing the lid to take a sip. "Ira didn't even speak to me today, not a word. That boy has always worried me, Emmett never saw it and it makes me a shit mother to say but Eden is more..." She wrinkled her nose, unable to bring herself to say the word.

“His touch is poison Conan. What happens when he touches Aesira and she drops?”

---

“You want to say normal don’t you?”

"There are.. are better words than that, more detailed ones, more specific and less horrible but.. that is how his peers will say it. They won't sugar coat it like I do normally and I am so so scared for him. I have to stop myself from coddling him, from - from showing him just how worried I am because that is going to make him feel like shit and resent me in the end."

---

"You either walk with me or I will bring the boy to you." Conan repeated impatiently.

“I’m not going near it when I’ve already seen what it does.”

---

“He’s a sweet boy, he’s just quiet, studious…More likely to be a scholar than a warrior but he’s a child to be proud of either way.”

"Of course, and I am, and I know all of that." Karina shook her head, swallowing before taking a long sip of the wine. "It is hard to put into words, hard to describe. It.. terrifies me... raising them without Emmett. Its so fucking scary. I am doubting myself on everything at the minute."

---

"He has touched all of us and nothing has happened. He has hugged Dagmar, he and my children have been playing games. You have such praise for the fae but no compassion for a child?"

“You’re doing a good job, Karina. I know it feels like that without Emmett nothing you do will be good enough because he’s not here but… I know it’s hard but… they’re adjusting. Eden is almost back to her usual self, and soon Ira will follow.”

---

“He could very well have been planted here to spy.”