Hope Falls

“I think for the most part I’m unable to have children. That Kenna and the child Karina conceived were flukes.” Lucian admitted, “I’ve travelled round the seas and back enough that if any of the women had my children I’d have noticed or there’d have been whispers, but nothing any of them. I remarked about it to Farah once and she said that having my wings cut and almost dying could have affected it all…”

---

Aesira leaned her head back with a soft noise, hands moving to tangle in his hair.

"You have said Karina wants more children but do you?" Conan asked quietly. "Is it an actual want or is it just searching for something to solidify you both."

---

Marcus moved his hand to slip beneath her top, brushing a feather-light stroke against the small of her back.

“You do not think we are already solid with a marriage?” Lucian frowned, shaking his head. “It is not something I considered - more children - before Karina became pregnant. We had little time to even think of it before I lost the use of my legs, and that it happened after what we believed was another failed attempt at reviving our bedroom it just felt like it was meant to be. It made me happy to think that she was carrying my child. I envisioned a future with it. I never even knew Maeve was expecting. I left and returned almost a year later and there Kenna was. I did not have time to feel happy over being her father until I’d had her for a few months and we had finally got into some sort of semblance of a routine that worked. Those first few months were just sheer panic over being left with something so small with no preparation. It felt different this time, for the few weeks we were allowed to enjoy it.”

---

Aesira used her grip on him to pull his head back to hers so she could return to kissing him fervently, a hand tracing down his front and dipping below his waistband.

"I think Ira and Eden continue to make problems for you both, and niether of you speak to anyone about the kind of pressure that can put you under. Niether of you talk about it." Conan grimaced, leaning back in his seat.  "I just want to make sure you're okay."

---

"You are su- sure about this now? I won't be thrown into any dungeons, will I?" He laughed before kisses.

“I am fine. It is you who has more pressing issues Conan. You always do this, you always deflect. I’ve just come here to tell you about Dagmar and you turn it into a conversation about Karina and I - insinuating there are issues, because you can’t face your own relationship.” Lucian sighed deeply.

---

“No dungeons,” Aesira assured with a small laugh, pressing her lips to his once more before humming, “I trust you…”

Conan laughed humourlessly, shaking his head. "By the time Dagmar comes home then there will be a child, whether it be in five years or ten. My children will also hate me no matter what I choose. What am I to do? I am tired of thinking about it all."

---

"That is praise indeed." Marcus mused as they faded to black.

"Every time I have gone to discuss anything with your son recently he has been.... pre-occupied with his wife." Avani grimaced. "They appear to be investing a lot of time into creating an heir."

---

"Take Idris off of her? I couldn't." Kael laughed at the absurdity of it. "She may be - She may be struggling at the moment but she would never do something that would put him in danger."

“You just said yourself she is dissociating from him, Kael. I have seen how far such a thing can escalate. She is already telling you to keep Idris with us. She must know herself she cannot care for him.”

---

“He’s a newly married man, with a wife he loves deeply. He is young, and he knows his duty as heir himself. The birth of his son prevented him from taking a honeymoon where he’d be able to spend undivided attention with his wife. You are aware of all of this, it cannot shock you that they are still in the honeymoon period and are acting as such, Princess.” Isolde raised an eyebrow, “Have you done as you did with me and just dropped by without appointment or have you asked to speak with him at a specific time?”

---

“The main thing you need to do is work on your children’s relationships with the new child, when it arrives. Your children are adults now, even if young. You cannot allow them to hold grudges against an infant, which will happen if you and Liara do not work toward it. Your son is ambitious, he has always stated his desire for the crown. Aesira is jealous, and headstrong. You need to ensure the only thing they feel toward their half-sibling is love. Otherwise in decades time Cassius may make a play for his brothers crown with his sisters full support.”

"The irony of if all, to make choices to pretend a civil war only for those same choices to result in one for the next generation." He laughed humourlessly, leaning forward and nodding towards the decanter, "Pour us both a drink?"

---

"You act like this isn't urgent, you act as if you do not have children. Perhaps if you would have discussed with me that I must become a hostage before it filtered through to my sister then that would have been ideal. Instead she is heartbroken and I am... at a lose."

---

"We don't know that it is disassociation. She may just be tired, wanting to sleep or.. find herself away from him." Kael grimaced. "I'd rather not think badly."

”And you act as if a conversation solving things this afternoon will have you in a boat tomorrow. It will not. No boats will sail for a few months at least, and almost a year at worst, depending on the weather, the seas, the Seers. I understand why you feel how you do. It involves your sons. But even if we smoothed things over right now and it was all decided - nothing would be happening for a while. So rushing all of this is pointless.”

---

“At best it seems she is punishing you for a conversation she didn’t enjoy, and at worst she’s descending into her… illness. Either way, Idris is safest with you.”

---

“As long as your older children love any that come after them, there’ll be no more wars, not between our own.” Lucian wheeled himself over to the drinks cabinet and set the glasses and bottle on his lap before making his way back over.

"Can we talk about other things now? Happier things?" Conan reached his hand out for the bottle eagerly. "It is too exhausting, being sad all of the time. I was never this miserable before."

---

"She is not ill, she has been through a lot and sometimes it weighs on you more heavily." Kael defended adamantly. "You have seen how I am, when I can't breath. Am I ill too?"

---

"A conversation will outline a plan. I like plans, plans make things reachable rather than being empty promises." Avani grimaced, mouth forming a line. "I want my sons out of the reach of an abuser, I want my sister to be able to mourn correctly. Why must I fight for it so adamantly?"

(( Night night ))

“You are fighting nobody, Avani. You’ve been given leave to remain here with your children, I’ve promised you sanctuary. You having to wait a few days or so for a man to be done entertaining his wife is hardly a battle.” Isolde sighed deeply, “You will be sailing to get your sons when you can. That is already settled. You are causing yourself undue stress. Your sister will be going with you. If you wish to fight with nature over the course of the seas because you cannot sail yet then by all means go shout on the coast.”

---

“There is a difference between your anxieties overwhelming you on occasion and Indira losing her sense of reality.”

---

“You are to become a father again. Circumstances aside, I believe that to be incredible news.”

"I am excited for it," He agreed with a slight smile. "Circumstances aside, both Liara and I are. The child isn't an attempt of an heir either, not fodder to be pushed onto the throne, it is one of love."

---

"I forget how to breathe, she... becomes caged and it isn't my place to tell you why that is her response but the reason does make sense. I can't let you speak unkindly of her Daphne. She is a good mother."

---

"I intend to do that too." Avani muttered beneath her breath, before ducking her head quietly, "Thank you. For the time."

“Speak to my Castellan, Liam. His offices are near the healers. He has sketches of all the properties the crown owns, lists of their rooms, the areas they are in, the like. Ask him to show you Alys’ manor, and Nuala’s cottage. If either of those are suitable for you and your boys you are welcome to it.”

---

“I am worried what will happen to you if Idris comes to any form of harm that we could have prevented by being vigilant, Kael.” Daphne frowned, resting her hand on his arm. “If she becomes inattentive, or if she breaks in his presence…”

---

“I am happy for you, truly. I know things are complicated but you were so unhappy with the situation a little over a year ago. Now you and Liara have managed to carve out some true happiness. It’s nice to see.”

"It has been a process, and the children believe it is because Dagmar had to leave but we were getting to that point before everything..." Conan grimaced at the memory. "This was inevitable, and I do love her. I really love her now." .

---

Kael lifted his other arm across, resting his palm over to brush his thumb against her knuckles. "I really don't believe she would ever harm him. Herself, you, me... the guards. Idris though, or any other child... never."

---

"That- oh. Wow." Avani swallowed as he voice grew thick. "I couldn't- I would never. Allow me to work for the privilege of that? I can't just... expect it."

“You think the worst of me, and I do not blame you we are from warring countries. But one thing I was able to do with my eldest daughter is shield her from the worst of her father when he was around. Your sons may not follow in their father’s footsteps if you have somewhere to shield them, mm?” Isolde picked up her drink and took a sip. “You will have to staff it with your own countrymen - I believe that it would be safest for you to do that. People here have not and will not forget what your brothers did, and in your position I wouldn’t trust anyone native who volunteers to work for you. Not to start with anyway, not for a while. We would not see you starve, but I’d suggest you speak to your family about funding and extra comforts you require.”

---

“One of my mother’s cousins drowned her baby in the bath. She swears he slipped in for a second and just one mouthful of water killed him… but she had been dissociating from him for weeks, and they found marks on his shoulder where she’d held the boy down… No mother looks like the type of mother to do such a thing… until they do. And I do not think you’d survive if she harmed Idris that way… I would lose you.”

---

“We do not choose who we love, do we? Your children are too young to understand that. Cassius has been browsing women as if they were pastries in a bakery, weighing them up.” Lucian snorted. “And we have all heard Aesira declare that she shall never love or marry anyone. They do not understand what any of it is. What it is to love, to marry, to be in situations that are impossible and painful. And I hope they never understand the latter, but likely it is they will eventually, and hopefully then they will see they treated you wrong.”

"You can imagine my heartbreak, each time Rakesh opens his mouth and all I can hear is Rajiv's words." Avani laughed sadly. "Though, since he has spent tike with your little one he is more like the boy I raised."

---

"That sounds horrific," Kael agreed quietly, "And if something like that were to happen to Idris then I would be - I couldn't even begin to think. You love me, I know. I just can't begin to think of Indira doing such things though, because then where does it end?"

---

"Cassius hasn't behaved like... Cassius in years. He behaves how he thinks he should, says what he thinks will make people like him and puts on a show. He is speaking to Ira again; which is good because Ira seems to be the only one he doesn't put a facade on for."

“He wants the throne, Conan. He ramped all this up when he realised that Aesira would never take it. You named her heir and she was obviously unimpressed. I think he always assumed you would eventually name him. But then the political climate changed and the Lords made it clear they’d not have a bastard on the throne. I don’t think he’s given up the notion that he may one day still rule.” Lucian poured himself a drink, “But it means he is bettering himself in the process, I suppose. He trains hard, he studies hard. Aesira puts the bare minimum effort in and then wondered why she kept getting her arse handed to her by the Valkyries.” He snorted. “But this is why I have warned you about enduring your eldest children come to love any you have with Liara. If he doesn’t feel anything for them then in thirty years time we’re looking at him trying to usurp his brother and you have to choose a side. Best nip it in the bud.”

---

“Beware, Mor can be fickle and will not tolerate discretions. She was friends with Hawk’s son from the cradle - he raised his voice at her once in an argument and they have not spoken since. I have tried to teach her to be more forgiving but it hasn’t taken yet, and your boy may end up in the cold too if she decides he’s displeased her.”

---

“We see what state she is in when she asks for the baby back. If she does not appear fit then we make sure she is always supervised, just to make sure Idris is safe. The risk of upsetting her is worth it if it ensures your son is okay. He is what matters.”

"Aesira has the wiser view on it all, how the throne isn't worth any of what it gives. Cassius' view of taking to it, making everything is better is just... impossible. His mindset is far too much like how mine was, he'll just end up hurt with it." Conan took a sip of his drink, before resting it on the desk. Not moving his gaze from it as he added quietly, "We will do our best to foster a relationship between the three of them, but Sira and Cass have to meet us half way."

---

"Children are notorious for holding grudges. To this day when I see Ishya during events her and I scowl at one another, and I am still very prideful that her hair is thinner where I pulled it from her scalp when we were seven. I imagine she never cut the hair of another girls doll after that without asking first."

---

"Fine, but I am certain there won't be any need."

“Give Cass a position on the council. Title him in his own right away from just being a Prince. Make him master of something, give him some land to hold that’ll title him legitimately. It is the insecurity that scares him. Bastards are cast aside with no warning often enough, if he has a solid place to integrate into your court and therefore will be harder to displace he’ll feel a lot more secure.”

---

“I hope there is no need, but just in case, we cannot be too safe with the boy.”

---

“Mor is headstrong, but I am hoping it will soften with age.”

"She is your daughter. Are you softening with age?" Avani asked with a warm tone. "The world has enough soft women. Headstrong, resilient, those that people describe as monstrous bitches and petty swines are exactly what we need more of. Men hate women like that because it challenges them, because it is women like that who will change things. Do not hope for your daughters to soften, Isolde."

---

"I - Thank you. I appreciate that you love him, as much as Indira and I do. Especially as he was so unexpected."

---

"Land...  Titles. He is still young, for that kind of responsibility...."

“You say men hate women like that as if you do not also hate me for being headstrong and sticking to my principles.” Isolde chuckled, shaking her head, “Being this way is isolating. You should be aware. Mor is isolated already, with her title. Parents hesitate to have their children interact with her, worried what will happen if their child offends. And those that do… she struggles with maintaining anything. I fear her only friends will become her sister, her family, should Kael have more children soon. Both of my sisters were much older than me, and I saw little of them. At my birth I was younger than my eldest sisters children. You believe me to be a tyrant, I have heard what you say - my father was worse, and so nobody other than my cousins were my friends. I do not want that for Mor.”

---

“What would hating him do?” Daphne shrugged then, sitting down beside him. “I could ask you to have him removed, that him being here is offensive, remind you that by your own counties precedent bastards are raised elsewhere - but you would deny me, and it is not as if my family care enough of my honour to demand the same. We cannot be unmarried. It would only create a rift between us. Your mother will not remove Indira from the castle as she likes to know of her whereabouts, so asking for her to be removed will not happen either. I could tell you that I do not want to be around him, but then that would mean us leading completely separate lives during the day… Hating a child for being born, as… egregious as the circumstances are, benefits nobody and harms us all, in the end… So I could sit in my rooms and make demands and be unhappy or, I accept the situation for what it is and move forward with it to be happy, which is what I chose to do.”

---

“But it solidifies his position in your life. Grant him it before your child is born and he knows that you are building him into the foundations of your court. It may make the anticipation of the baby’s birth a little less tense if Cassius is aware he cannot be thrown out once it is born like he fears. Weave him into your court, make it hard to get rid of him just because the Lords grumble and only when he fucks up, like the rest of them. Make him feel more at ease and the attitude may drop.”

"You are growing on me. Arzen and my father would already be peeling the skin off of themselves in horror over Rauiri, and then wanting to stay here instead of home. It may aswell be a hat trick."  Avani laughed sadly then. "Princess Mor will be fine, you have no need to fret about her. It appears you have built yourself a strong support circle for them all."

---

Kael slipped arms around his wife, pulling her into his side and resting the side of his face on top her head in an embrace. Whispering softly, "You are outstanding, truly."

---

"And Aesira, what is the solution there?"

“Put her in charge of something but… less important in the grand scheme of things. She doesn’t crave the recognition the way Cass does. He needs to be master of something to make it to your councils and have a seat at the table. Sira doesn’t care about being at the table. In an ideal world she’d be cooperative and would allow the Valkyries to mentor her within the Seers. But she’s made her bed with them and I doubt there’ll be much if any forgiveness. Put her in charge of the household horses - not the war horses, leave them to Lord Graves, but the ones for pleasure and travel. Keep her occupied so she’s not idle and causing issues and it’s something you know she will excel in and even begrudgingly enjoy.”

---

“I spent too much of my life miserable and confined by others at home to do it to myself here over something that cannot be changed.” Daphne whispered as she leaned into him, closing her eyes. “I am determined to be happy… One cannot be happy whilst harbouring hate, mm? And Idris makes it easy to love him, so all is well.”

---

“Save for the odd cousin here and there whom I can’t even confirm live anymore, the members of my family in the castle are all I have left of what used to be vast dynasty. Kael, Mor, Eira and I are all that is left of the bloodline in a castle that used to house hundreds of us. And the name dies with me because for all I passed it on to my daughters, Nerissa allowed Kael to take Aodhän’s even though she knew he would be my heir. It was one of the last things we argued about.” Isolde snorted softly.