Hope Falls

“There have been others that have come back with mates?” Daegan couldn’t help but laugh. “Wretched business, mates. Being forced to be with someone.”

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“Not too young for promises though, I know how it works. I know that you were promised for someone else when you were my age too… You’ll tell me if you promise me to someone?”

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“I - you want to name her after my mother? You want to name her Seren?”

"There have. The concept is rare until the other love interest is me." Aoife snorted, only an edge of humour breaking through. "It sounds like solitary confinement to me. How being forced to love anyone can be seen as romantic is.... unfathomable."

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"You'll know, mm." Kael nodded. "I will keep you in the know, Mor."

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"I want to name her Seren. Yes." Avani whispered. "As long as you do too, as long as it's okay. If you want to go to your ancestors, ask their permission then you can. If you ever wish to go to them, with me, then I would be honoured by that too. It would be wonderful to thank them, anyone who led up to you being you."

“I’ve not met with them in a long time… perhaps when she is born I’ll take the both of you with me, to meet them so

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“When mama dies … I can do more, if you need me to? I know you are busy.”

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“I do not like to criticise the Ancestors, or question them… but it is a practice that baffles me often.”

"Wyatt shouldn't physically be able to sleep with me, if he was mates with this woman so I think his bond at the very least is absolute crap." Aoife rolled onto her back to stare up at the ceiling. "He feels broken when he is with her, thinks all the years and the war has ruined his ability to love. You know they don't even sleep together anymore, basically lodgers. How can that be any kind of bond?"

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"Maybe I can find one or two things for you to do. I need to start hosting more things, parties... to make all the Lords and Nobles like me more. If I find a Lord or Lady who wants to do some of that for me, would you help them?"

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"My sands don't offer such moments, speaking to your lost. People who become lost in the desert claim to see apparitions when they are close to death. The sand itself forming into a guide to bring them home but I don't believe any of it to be more than a mind trick."

“Bonds are tangible. When individuals are bonded and close together it’s easy to see the difference between them and a normal couple. Even if the non mated ones are disgustingly in love, the difference is just… you can just tell without people speaking of it. In my experience anyway. Our bonds are not quiet, subtle things.” Daegan nodded, “If he was bonded to her, and had accepted the bond, the idea of sleeping with you would be abhorrent to him.”

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“I can do parties, help them.” Mor nodded. “More parties sounds nice… more fun. And music?”

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“You have your Gods though don’t you, that you pray to, that guide you. We have our Ancestors…”

"Mhm. Your ancestors just seem more talkative then my gods, that is all. Even before I came here, I felt like they were keeping their distance."

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"Lots of music. We need to make King Magnus quake in his boots that we are coming for his title." Kael chuckled.

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"I want to ask him to choose." Aoife whispered, closing her eyes. "He'll choose her though, even though he is miserable with her. He has too much of a conscious, and she is too... pathetic. A victim, in every sense of the word."'

“Then ask him to choose… and if he is stupid enough to not choose you then I will be here to hold you. But if he chooses a mutt over you, you need to have the self respect to walk away completely, Aoife. You’re worth so much more.”

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“Music will be nice, so the castle is not so quiet as it has been… everyone is worried, aren’t they?”

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“There are less of us now to speak to I suppose, less than half of what we used to be now. Even with more births.”

"No," Aoife's voice was quiet with her disagreement, curling her fingers around his and squeezing his hand.

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"The Wasting made lots of people ill, before. It's been covered, by your teachers, hasn't it? Bodhi was not the first sapling to be born with it already, others had it too. Now with mother becoming ill, people are scared... yes."

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"It's... it's a big thing to think about."

“The forests are - they’re just empty now. If I took you on a ride from here to the northern villages we’d go past entire villages and cities in the forests that are just empty skeletons of what they used to be. Entire villages just reclaimed back by the forest itself because everyone died off.”

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“Bodhi was not the first? Why did nobody say?”

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“Yes. You always have been.” Daegan insisted, brushing his nose against hers. “You have always been more than you were willing to credit yourself for Aoife. It always hurt to see you didn’t believe it. You were always noticed.”

"They were all scared, they were all grieving." He whispered. "It isn't easy to talk about things that hurt us, especially when those things might cause others to panic."

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"The northern villages, one of yours. You need to show me, you'll need to show our daughter. When she is here, and old enough, can we go for a few days?"

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Aoife's eyelids fluttered open at the affection, letting out a breath to steady herself. "I am just staff. Plenty of the girls are accomplished, if anything happened to me then they would be sad for a few days before pulling in a replacement."

“We can, but there is no luxury fit for princesses there.” Ruairi laughed softly, “but I can take you if you wish.”

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“You know that’s not true. Maybe for the others but not for you. You are still here after all this time because of your skills, your talent and your importance. You’ve never been just staff, Aoife.”

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“Big secrets to keep; who’s to say they’re not keeping more now?”

"You are obsessed with my title," Avani laughed quietly, "The damned thing. I wish I didn't have it, I worry it just makes you feel awful."

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Aoife sighed, resting her hand against his neck and beginning to trace the lines of his tattoo once more. Going further, now she could, pausing at scars and looking to his face for explanation.

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"Everyone is entitled to privacy, to secrets. We all have them."

“Vampire… I was asleep in a tavern at the time, had a few too many to keep my senses about me whilst I slept. I woke up as he was on me. Bastard tried to get my neck and when he couldn’t he got the knife out and began poking holes.” Daegan snorted as she reached one over his sternum. “He was either young or senseless, trying it. I ended up walking away with his head and his nice boots…”

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“No you don’t, it’s part of you, your family.”

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“Mama said I shouldn’t keep secrets.”

"My family would still be my family if I told Ishaan to take it from me, it isn't titles that bind us. Would it make you more comfortable, if I had it removed?"

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"It depends on the secret. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, if you need to keep a secret then do it. All adults have secrets, and your nearly one."

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"I am going to havd to ban you from leaving this place again, you don't look after yourself. It's a miracle you survived this long out of your own."

“I don’t intend on going anywhere… my place is here, I know that now. I know what I’m here to do.”

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“No… don’t do that, Avani. Not for me. No.”

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“But… I don’t want secrets… mama kept her dying a secret for too long.”

That isn't an answer to the question I asked you. Rauiri, would you be more comfortable if I no longer had a title?"

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"She didn't want us to worry longer than we had to, it isn't her fault." Kael frowned.

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"You will be going to Isolde tomorrow?"

“Mm, if Kael hasnt gotten to her first. She needs to answer for what she’s done to Nerissa’s memory. I doubt anyone here had the balls to do it when she married him; but I will. Nerissa and - “ Daegan swallowed, “The girls loved Isolde, and she’s betrayed both of them. Nerissa especially so. Marrying her husband? It’s egregious, it’s an insult to her memory and she’s not getting away with it before she dies.”

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“No.”

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“But now she’s told us and all she can do is sleep. She should have told us before when it wasn’t so bad.”

"Aodhän has always been a self-righteous prick." Aoife snorted. "A controlling freak, I always felt sorry for Nerissa. He is a social climber, nothing more."

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"We shouldn't waste the time we have left with her being angry. Dad knew for just as long, lied and kept secrets but you're not mad at him."

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"Mm," Avani hummed doubtful, brushing her thumb across his cheek affectionately. Eyes widening the same time she flinched, taking his hands and bringing them to her bump so he could feel the small footprint that hit against her skin with the kick.

“Hopefully he follows soon after Isolde departs.”

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“Because she is the boss, she would have told him how to be, he had to listen, she was Queen.”

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“Are you okay?” Ruairi frowned at her flinch, eyeing her up intently. “You are sure this is all normal? That you are well?”

"Mm, did you feel that? I - Wait for it, here she goes again. She's strong." Avani whispered, bracing herself this time for the kick that came moments later.

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"Kael isn't happy with Aodhän, their relationship has always been strained. He flies off the handle with him often, or did. Now Kael can order him around he keeps a distance from him."

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"They dont order each other, unless it's dire." Kael whispered. "She wouldn't have forced him to do anything. You are always on his side."

“Perhaps he is just as disgusted as the rest of us that his father married the woman his mother considered a sister.”

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“And you are never… so it is balance.”

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“I do, I do.” Ruairi nodded, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I’m glad you’re okay, Avani…”

"I hate being pregnant in so many moments, and love it seconds later." She breathed. "How many would you like after her? One more, two?"

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"I have no doubts you'll use that information to make him squirm. Anything I say to you, you're going to weaponise, aren't you?"

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"That isn't true." Kael scoffed.

“Two more after this one would take you up to nearly ten children, are you sure?” Ruairi laughed, brushing his finger over the bridge of her nose to soothe her.

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“I’m not here to play nice Aoife… besides, you hate us bastards with titles mm?”

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“When have you ever been on his side?”

"I don't want to be weaponised. You are my exception, everyone knows it.... I don't want it to only be the case because I thought you were dead." Aoife whispered, "Please let me talk to you without every word I say becoming a weapon. My job involves confidentiality, I want to be able to talk to you... but trust it stays between us."

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"Every day until he offered I be publicly beaten to Conan Zaretsky when I made a mistake." Kael answered icily.

"Mm," Avani hummed, closing her eyes at his touch. "I am a woman, I made to have children. If you want more than her then we can have more than her. It might be nice for her, to not be the only one from here."