Children of the Gods

"I know."

"So...so if you think I was a slut, or asking for it or deserved it and I should go off into a hole and die that's fine too."

"I don't think that, you've told me that you didn't ask for it."

"Considering my old habits I wouldn't have been surprised if you didn't believe me." Feferi's hand nervously twitched in Blazes fur.

"You've never slept with another guy on your own will whilst you've been with me, I have no reason to not trust you."

"I should have done better or tried to prevent it more or..." Feferi choked down a quiet sob. "Christ, I'm not even worth any effort Piattro. You don't need to reassure me because I know I've done bad."

"Piattro go." Blaze told him, and reluctantly Piattro left, and he made Feferi look at him. "Hey, come on no tears."

"I'm a dirty fucking whore. I don't deserve sympathy."

"We love you, we won't see you as anyone but a perfect woman who has agreed to marry both of us and have a family."

"No matter what you say, I'm not going to get any less disgusting." Feferi slowly stood and hunted through her dirty clothes before bringing out her phone and silently showing the screen to him. There was a blurry face. "I almost got one of them. They were demigods. One could paralyse movement but I could still feel and..." Feferi tensed as she tried not to tremble again. "One of them made illusions, Blaze. I can't tell if this is real or fake."

"What was the illusion?"

"That it was Piattro. That it was gentle. That it felt so real I think I enjoyed some of it. And I want to be hated for it, be punished or hurt or..." Feferi swallowed dryly. "Only once though. The others...The others were Apollo, my own fucking father, and...and Corgan. Faces I recognised but didn't remember. They used my memories. Own mind and body against me." Feferi moved to lie on the bed, loosely curling up.

"You don't need to be hated Feferi, you were under a false pretence, that's something that you can't be blamed for."

"I want to be hated. I was wrong." Feferi pressed her face into the pillows and mumbled something.

"And all we want is for you to be happy here and be happy with us."

"I'm happy. I just...I know I've done wrong and want to be treated that way.'

"Well tough luck."

"Can't one of you just hit me or...or...shout or something?"

He playfully swiped her with his paw.

"Properly," Feferi whispered. "Like you're Apollo and I fucked up again. Make me bleed and beg and kneel."

"Piattro would make you kneel, beg and bleed but you'd enjoy it too much."

Feferi huffed a weak laugh. "That defeats the purpose of what I think needs to happen."

"It is to us."

"I just want telling off, okay? I don't care if it's shouting, or physical, or stupidly angry and violent sex for messing up but I want to get punished because I won't feel better until it happens. It's how I was brought up. It's how Apollo and Atropos and Corgan taught me to function."

"Jesus Feferi, I thought you realised that we can't do that."